Thursday, 12 January 2012

The beginning of the end of "Miss"

Check out this BBC article about an exciting move in France to ban the use of the term "Mademoiselle" (Miss). As you will be able to guess from one of my earlier posts ("Is it Miss or Mrs?"), I'm all for it!

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Women don't like porn?? Yeah, right!

Let's make that ghastly post about anal sex move down the page a little to make space for a rant, shall we?
Anyway, women and porn... Apparently, women don't like mainstream porn because "it doesn't turn them on when there's no romantic storyline, bla bla bla". Honestly, I really don't understand who came up with this crap. A woman can whip up an orgasm as fast as a man, and when she wants to come quickly and not in the next hour, why on earth would she bother with romantic storylines? I mean, wtf?

I'm not saying mainstream porn is without its faults - far from it. But it certainly does the trick for a hell of a lot of women out there.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Some things you always wanted to know about... Anal Sex

I had to push myself to be brave enough to write this post. You might think that the person who started their blog with a post about multiple orgasms wouldn't chicken out at this. But I did. Anyway, the reason I'm writing this post is because there is something to be said for anal sex. In fact, there's a LOT to be said for anal sex. Some say that, because you can't have babies out your arse, anal sex is what makes sex really recreational. But the fact is, I only know a few women who are into anal sex. Generally speaking, heterosexual couples don't do it. He might really fancy the idea of penetrating her that way, but she says it hurts or thinks it's disgusting. Or she might fancy riding his arse and he will just roll over in a huff grumbling: you think I'm gay or something?!

Here is some advice on how to make it an enjoyable experience for both.

First of all, men, there's nothing wrong with taking it up arse - it doesn't mean you're gay if you like it. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay.

My gay friend thinks it's hilarious how crap heterosexual couples are at anal sex, because they do it without any sort of preparation and lubricant. He says lubricant is a must - you can try it with saliva, but good old-fashioned store-bought lube might be best if you're unexperienced. You'll find different types of lubes in the shop, and the ones which are more expensive tend to be better because they don't dry as quickly once you've applied them. Basically makes things run more smoothly for longer. I mean, who wants to constantly be re-applying lube? I'm keeping my ear to the ground for home-made, kitchen pantry options.

Since the anus isn't exactly forthcoming when it comes to opening up to penetration, you've got to probe it, play round with it, or lick it - basically, open it up bit by bit and don't try to just shove your penis or dildo in there. It'll hurt like hell and you'll never want to do it again. Use loads of lube, and maybe start with your pinkie. Once you're up and running, though, the funny thing with anuses (is that really the plural of anus?! ANUSES! Excellent!) is that they dilate more and more during anal sex. You might have seen that in porn clips before. It's a miracle, really.

Anyway, when you both think you're ready for full penetration, stick your penis/dildo in reeeeeaaaal slow. That's the tricky bit. The best thing is if the person who's being penetrated controls the penetration. For example by going on top and slowly levelling themselves down onto the penis/dildo. This will hurt a little. Relax! Give yourself time. Stay still for a while if you need to. Putting it in half-way is enough - you'll become more dilated in a minute and then you can go in more deeply. Try not to take the penis/dildo out at this stage, because the first minute or two your anus will just contract again and you have to start all over again.

Once you've got the hang of it you might just find it's the best thing since sliced bread! When you're doing it right, it doesn't hurt after a minute or two or it hurts so little it's a turn-on in itself. Play around with different positions - some will hurt, others won't. Little note of warning: anal sex (like constipation and a few other things) can lead to anal fissures. My gay friend says he has his anus checked for anal fissures regularly. Anal fissures can be extremely dangerous. Bear that in mind, but now go have some fun!

Finally, remember: if you don't want to try anal sex, that's fine, too. It's important to be able to say "no" in the bedroom.