Thursday, 10 March 2011

Attachment Parenting - turning mums into slaves of their children?

Attachment parenting is a form of parenting adopted by a lot of parents/women these days, to various degrees.

I found an interesting article on attachment parenting by Erica Jong, who sees it as a modern form of women's slavery... I think she raises some very good points, reflecting my own worries when I see women mothering their way into depression as they feel that they must focus all their energies on the child, which also means that they feel they need to give up their out-of-home jobs. Also, as Jong argues, attachment parenting only works for very rich parents.

I'm wondering what people think about this, especially parents.

1 comment:

  1. I thought this over for a while before commenting. I think it is stupid to come from the extreme on either side of an issue like this. The current trend is simply a response to the latch key kid syndrome of the previous decades. We swing back and forth and back and forth, until one day we hopefully end up in the middle, or at least stop being women who judge other women. You do not have to be rich to follow the tenets of "attachment parenting." We are not rich, and I do a lot, but not all, of those things. Am I a slave? No. There are things that are more difficult and things that are easier. Some of the difficult things are rewarding, and some are just frustrating- as they are in any area of one's life. What bugs me is that the extreme "attachment mommies" and the extreme "career mommies" like Jong forget that most of us are just in the middle, trying to do our best, and their opinions only serve to cause pressure and guilt to those who give them any weight. She is just bringing the argument all the way to the other side, which is exactly what I would expect of her age, education, and the fact that she is saying that what SHE did is right. Of course it is. Maybe we could just start being honest about the fact that whether you stay at home to see all of your child's firsts and watch them grow or leave your child with a nanny while you pursue an amazing career all over the world, there are rewards and sacrifices. Some of your choices will bring you joy, and others sadness and regret. It would be nice to have these experiences without the added commentary on what you did wrong from either side. There are almost 7 billion people on the planet. I think it is safe to say that to generalize on what is "slavery" for a gender is sort of stupid. I think the real feminism is supporting a woman's right to make a choice, even one that you don't like, and not dismissing her under the assumption that she doesn't really know what she wants.