Sunday, 5 December 2010

How do women orgasm?

To all you millions out there copulating to no avail: I've got news for you. The vaginal orgasm doesn't exist. It doesn't, and it never did. And it never will.

Feminists have been saying it for decades, but the news hasn't hit home yet.

Who am I to claim I know how 'women' orgasm. But here are my twopence worth:

clitoris and G-spot.

So pull it out and get working on that tiny little area. And, most of all, communicate. Women are the best judges of what works for them, not men. Most men get to orgasm quite comfortably through vaginal penetration. For women, usually that just won't do.

For those women out there who have never had an orgasm or aren't sure they have, but would like one, my advice is: masturbate. If you're not sure how to masturbate, you can find some good instructions online. Here's a good one in French: You can do it sitting down, lying down on your belly or back, and in any other position you like. Many prefer lying on their stomach, because it makes it easier to exert pressure on your pelvic area. Find that spot where it feels most exciting, and ... rub away! Yay!!!!

Mavericks may like to consult Charlotte Roche's novel 'Feuchtgebiete' (Wetlands). There are some seriously crazy masturbation techniques in there, most of which will require medical attention.

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